She was fucking right when she told me to pay attention to the signs, to look after clues, or to believe in destiny. We all know that moment when we feel something is truly done, or gone for good. That's destiny, something is ending, and something else is starting. It happened to me recently. Until then I didn't believe in faith or destiny, or I didn't acknowledge it. Maybe I didn't want to.
That day I found a clue, it was a different Sunday, a sunny one. I went to the "family" dinner, and came back home, Usually if she post something, it's first in my news feed. When I saw that picture, I knew exactly what hit me. I was standing there, staring at the picture, hoping to be a nightmare. I had to go to wash my face, because it was too fucking intense, all in silence. I ignored her for a few days after that. Faith has its irony and the next day I got my dream job. Like I said, something ends, something else is starting. Maybe I lost her for good, but I got what I wanted for years.
The next weeks were awful. Every lovely picture, every beautiful smile and every cute word were arrows pointed towards me, but she was happy. she was excited, and that was all that mattered to me. I enjoyed seeing her so joyful, making big plans in her mind, just being herself after a long long time.
Not only those weeks, but I think I'm always forgiving her for everything, even when she is taking me for granted. I just can't forget her, I don't know why. I never stopped thinking about her since I first spoke with her, Never. Maybe it counts for something, somewhere, somehow.
I just want her to know that if she ever changes her mind, she knows exactly where to find me...
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